AAAHHH shopping shopping shopping. I hardly ever do it since I've had Dean. It is just too much trouble with a child. But I needed to get a gift today so I went to Hallmark this morning. I was greeted by a sweet older lady who was happy to see me and also happy to see Dean. I was holding Dean in one arm and gripping a toy in my hand to keep his attention. On my other arm was THE PURSE. This is my ginormous purse/diaper bag/toy bag/snack bag that is often times bottomless and oddly resembles Mary Poppin's carpet bag. It is ridiculous, but that is another blog post altogether! So I was using my other semi-free hand to look at journals, photo frames and candles. Keep in mind that Dean is absolutely lifeless when you are holding him. He doesn't grip on with his legs or cling with his arms, he just slumps in your arms like paper sack full of groceries and slowly slides toward the ground. He isn't trying to get down but he isn't trying to stay up either. Where was I...oh yes, shopping. I finally make it up to the cash register and greet the sweet old lady clerk again. She asks if I shop there often, no...not really, but I DO need a Hallmark Rewards Card she insists because it will save me money. I'm not really paying that much attention because I'm trying to scoot Dean up on the counter and then start a dig through THE PURSE to find my wallet (praying the whole time that I haven't left it in the REAL diaper bag again!). I manage to locate my wallet and slide out my debit card. Then she asks to see my drivers license. I groan inside because that means an extra reach back into my wallet and this doesn't add up in my efficiency calculations, but it is for my own safety and protection so why should I complain...right?! Then it happens. The sweet old lady looks at my drivers license photo and says, "oh, was this before you had kids?". Startled at the comment I replied, "ummm...I was pregnant at the time." To which she says, "Oh because you look really RESTED." I managed to mumble something that I hope made sense but I'm not sure because my mind was reeling! Here is what was going through my mind in that instant:
-So if I looked rested then, OBVIOUSLY I do not look rested today.
-Is it my face, the fact that I am possibly a bit *ahem* heavier now? I mean, I actually DID make an effort to put on makeup today so surely that couldn't be the problem!
-Could it be that my hair was curly and down in my license picture (who DOESN'T get fixed up nice for the DL pic? I mean it is going to be with you every day for about 20 years until you finally get a new one made) compared to today where it was pulled back and bobby pinned out of my face (not to mention my sunglasses pushed up in the middle of it because I don't have a third hand to carry those around too and heaven help them if I put them in THE PURSE).

So, it was with these thoughts that I gathered up my dead weight child, THE PURSE and my Hallmark sack that included my new Rewards Card and sulked to the car. All the way home I fumed and then decided it was actually quite funny. I started to laugh at all the other crazy things old ladies have said to me. Like the one in line behind me at Costco who blurted out, "Babies with huge heads are really smart so don't you worry about your boy". I'm not making that up. It really happened.

So I want to thank these ladies for giving me a good laugh today. And also for helping me see that it is best to keep my opinions to myself and not freely share them with perfect strangers. Not that I would ever do that, but just in case the thought ever crosses my mind, I will remember this day.